Wednesday, September 7, 2011


I feel like every post I put up here needs some sort of clarification lately.
So Oak saw the last post and after re-composing herself (because I am certain she was rolling on the floor laughing) she basically said 'WTF? you were talking about marriage with this fella?'.....well basically that is what she was saying because she was like 'what were you like 16?'. So let me clarify. No I was not talking marriage with this guy. It is bad enough that I married the dude I dated right after him. Banjos a'playin' in the's why that relationship didn't end so smoothly.
Here's how it went, Jesus-Tron and I worked together, his sister and I played violin together in Weekend For Strings when we was little, and his sister and I went to high school together. Basically all that boils down to - too small of a town. He was super nice. He went to the Christian high school and was quarterback of their football team. Basically it was like a cheerleader's dream. Right?.....weird he married a cheerleader....who was also in my girl scout troop in elementary school - example 2 of too small of a town. He was also my mother's dream for me. My mom wasn't supa religious, but she was a very spiritual person. So imagine the glee in her heart when I picked a "Good Boy" to date.
Anyway, Jesus-Tron was fun. We were total dorks, we went to see The Cranberries together and I think we even went to see the Dis.ney basically we were overgrown children. But it was fun. A weird part was going to his "Homecoming" and they weren't allowed to dance.....yeah that was a strange evening.
Jesus-Tron and my relationship was only 3 months long. Perhaps it would have been longer had we not gotten into this silly conversation. I don't even really recall how it happened. As I said, I was in no way planning to marry him. But for some reason we got onto that topic. And when he said he couldn't marry me because I wasn't a Christian, it became blatantly clear that he didn't fully accept me for me. And let's just be clear, I am fucking awesome. Jesus in my heart or not, I am a good person and shit (....well if you ignore the trash-mouth...but that is mostly just my blogging mouth. I don't cuss this much in person....unless tequila is involved.....mmmm tequila....does anyone else have the PeeWee Herman Bar Dance playing in their mind? me huh?), I care about my fellow man, adopt Pit Bulls and kiss babies on the head....that sort of thing. To me that is what counts. Who cares what I believe or don't believe about some book/hippie dude?
Anyway, as I was saying, in reality the conversation shouldn't have pissed me off. Because I was in no way planning to go there with him, but at the same time it did piss me off. And I thought 'then what's the point of this?'. Which is what I told him. I told him 'so what you're just messing around here in Hell-town for funsies, but you could never be serious about me?'. And then I broke up with him. Because I don't mess around with people who are judgemental of others.
So yeah, that is what happened with that one. But you know what? I am super happy for Jesus-Tron because he found his lady after we dated. And they got married. And she was a Christian, and they have a ginger kid.....which as we all know from South Park, are evil....just KIDDING!


  1. Bahahaha, part of me feels like I should find some exes to write about now, but as we alllll know that would take far too long.

  2. Bullet dodged on that one for sure. What an awful thing to say about someone. Meh, you're better off :)

  3. LOL, I love how your clarifications don't really clarify shit, but they are awesome to read anyway. :)