Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Hadn't Thought of That

So as I was waddling my chunky ass to the train last night, something dawned on me. My water could break at work or on the train. First off, how embarrassing would that be? Second, how would I explain it to those around me "Just making sure they steam clean this seat (awkward laugh)". Once on the train, there really is nothing to do but ride it all the way downtown to get to the bus. I don't know anyone between my office and downtown who could come rescue me easily while I hide behind a bush with shame. 
I need to come up with a plan. My only hope is that my water breaks at the office, because I could easily start carrying around a backpack with a change of undies, pants and some super pads. Obviously, I could have these on the train too, but there is no private place to change on the train. Worse case scenario, water breaks on the train, I die of embarrassment and try to think of some funny comment to ease those around me who just witnessed what looked like a pregnant lady peeing her pants, I dash off at the next stop and try to find the closest facility to slip into my back-up outfit. Then jump on the next train and thank my lucky stars that the news of my water breaking couldn't have reached these people yet. 
Of course option number 2 is to stop riding the train and start driving. I don't really know what I expect it to be like, but from what I gather, most ladies know they're in labor well before their water breaks. But that just because you're in labor doesn't mean anything is going to be happening anytime soon. It is possible that I will have plenty of time to sneak in another whole work day before things start getting serious. But I am pretty certain the 20 guys I work with will be shoving me out the door if I say anything about contractions. I have this image of my boss flying frantically down the highway with me in his backseat calm as a cucumber. We get to my house and he hands me off to Andy saying 'you take her!'. Hahaha. At least he has leather seats.
Maybe my "labor backpack" should have some plastic sheeting in it so I can be considerate of the other people on the train and/or whoever might be driving me home. So say my water does break on the train, what do I do? Do I tell the conductor? Somehow I think that would lead to an ambulence and news cameras and all I really want to do is slip quietly (or as quietly as possible) off the train. But it seems really rude to ruin a seat and not give anyone a heads up about it. I suppose once I make it home I could call the transit number and let them know. 'Hey I was just on the train and my water happened to break, just wanted to say sorry about that'. 'Course then I would have to have the resolve to remember which train I was on and that definitely won't be happening. "the white one!". Hopefully I will just go into some state of other-being-ness and be able to block out the fact that I wet myself on the train in front of 30 strangers and I won't ever be embarrassed about it.
The downfall about driving is the question of will I be competent enough to drive myself home? And will I be able to get home without being stuck in traffic? At least the train and the bus will get me there no matter what state I am in. The more and more I roll this over in my head, the more I think what will most likely happen is someone at work will take me home, or I will be calling someone to come get me. That's the most logical solution right?

So I uploaded photos today, shocking! Now instead of getting the past 7 weeks worth of belly pictures, you'll just get the last two weeks.

33 weeks

34 weeks. I have to admit to you that I started taking this week's pictures and then I went back to review them and I was wearing the exact same outfit as last week. Doh. So i had to go change my shirt and start over. What a dork.

My belly button is still not cooperating and we are T minus a week and a half away from my maternity photos. Bah, whatever, she'll hopefully be able to make it work.
Speaking of maternity photos, a friend of mine just sent me the link to view hers and I have to admit, it was a little awkward for me to be looking through her naked ones. She's a friend, but not that good of a friend. Needless to say, this hot body will not be doing any totally nude ones. The photographer and I discussed ways we could do a couple of belly shots, but that would cover up my imperfections. I have a ridunkulous amount of stretchmarks on my hips and boobs from when I went through my teenage growth-spurt. So my skin isn't the purdiest canvas.....granted I am pretty amazing when it comes to photoshopping. Hmmm I might have to photoshop my uncooperative belly button. Problem solved! Score. To see previous belly pictures go here.


  1. I think you should make one of those big charts with all of the "get to the hospital" strategies on it with lots of dry runs. It cracks me up to think of you with a pointer teaching your co-workers the game plan. Whatever you do, make it as dramatic as possible. :)

  2. From what I've heard usually the water breaking is a small trinkle, not the big gush they show in movies. Although big gushes do happen, they're not as common as the slow steady flow.

    Friends and books have suggested wearing liners towards the end of your pregnancy, putting a waterproof mattress protector on your bed and when you do go to the hospital if you're at home, wear something you don't care about tossing out because if your water breaks, you'll probably ruin whatever it is you're wearing.

  3. Your belly button is fine! Mine hasn't popped out either - it's more just flush with my skin but it's still holding strong as an innie. Who knows, maybe it won't even pop out. I'll admit I wanted an outie just to see what that would look like...but it just may not happen. I can't wait to see your professional belly pics! Belly button in or out - they are going to be beautiful!

    And it's funny...I've started worrying about my water breaking too - but I'm more worried it's going to happen when I'm asleep and ruin our bed! I'm thinking of getting some of those sheets they use in nursing homes that they put under the old people in case they pee the bed. I'll just put it under our sheets and that way if it does happen our bed won't be all gross! haha...the things we think about, huh?

  4. LMFAO. I have no advice, but I agree with E, make it as dramatic as possible. :)

  5. A girl in my department made sure people had her emergency contact info in case something happened at work - but I like your tactics much better! :) Lookin good!