Thursday, October 27, 2011


I can't believe I almost forgot about TVT! What is wrong with me? Vomit coming at your face:

  • J.ohn Ma.yer is fucking full of shit! My body is not a wonderland. I went for a run on Tuesday....the day before our SnowMAGEDDON!!!! (more on this in a minute)....and whilst I did reach my goal of running more than a mile....don't get too excited it was probably only 15 feet over the mile mark...I spent the entire time trying to not shit my pants. Why body? Seriously? I am trying to get you into shape so you can be hot and sexy and you have to sabotage me like this. Well if there is one way to distract you from the fact that you don't really want to be running, it is spending the entire time going 'hmmm is this a real shitting emergency? or is my body just trying to stop me from running?'

  • Onto the subject of SnowMAGEDDON!!!! So I think it is hilarious that people freak the fuck out when it goes from 80 degrees on Monday to 10 inches of snow on Wednesday. You live in fucking Colorado! Hello! I also hate it when people complain about the again.....Colorado. If you don't like it go back to seriously...please go back to California. More powder for me.

  • I decided I will not be one of those moms who refuses to take her child out in the cold....instead I have resolved to be one of those moms who takes their child out, but completely over-dresses them. I put Jack in his bear outfit yesterday....hang on let me look for a picture...oh shit, just look at the top of my blog. duh Natalie! Fuck me, I left the house at 5:30 this morning so forgive my lack of brain power. Anyhoodles. I put him in said bear outfit and took him to the grocery store and tar.get last night. Technically with it being pretty cold out, he wasn't overdressed for being outside, but when I got him home and took him out of his suit, his head was all sweaty. Apparently I either need to roll a window down for him while we are in the car, or at minimum pull the hood back. Poor kid.

  • Why did you leave the house so fucking early this morning Natalie? I am glad you asked. So I have been driving to work since the baby started daycare. I wanted to be able to get to him quickly if needed, etc. And whilst (I fucking love this word!) I am a big hippie and love riding public transit, it does take longer. I take a couple different routes out of the office park to get to the highway (don't worry Oak, I timed it and they take the same amount of time...she hates inefficient driving). On one such route, one day I noticed a giant bus (a signal for a regional bus that doesn't make a shit ton of stops = the kind you want to ride) and I wondered where it went. I looked that shit  up and wouldn't you know the route worked out that it picked up a couple miles from our house and then went straight down to the stop outside my office building. HOLY SHIT! Well it originates in Boulder, but it doesn't stop in between the two, so basically it takes the same time as the 10 minutes I spend waiting at the bus stop. Since we had SnowMageddon yesterday I figured it would behoove me to try it out (read: avoid the dumbass people who have forgotten how to drive in the 6 months since we last had snow). The only issue is there are only 3 buses that go south in the morning and 3 that go north in the evening. Since the bus does come from Boulder and those fuckers love public transit (so unlike me) I wanted to be there for the first bus so in case it was standing room only I could wait for the second bus. Obviously the other problem is that I am anal retentive so I like to get places about 30 minutes before necessary. Thus waking up earlier and sitting in my car for 20 minutes, then standing in the cold for 20 minutes until the bus comes. I think next week I will try getting on the second bus because I got to work way too early today. The rest of the office arrives between 7:30 and 9:00 (depending on their level of slacking) so there is no reason for me to walk in at 6:30.

  • Dodgeball Game #2 tonight. I hope that my throwing skills have magically improved...what with all that sleeping and such that I have been doing this week. Maybe my arm just needed a good rest before it started throwing fast and hard....yeah me thinks not. As for the request for video of me playing dodgeball...yeah...never gonna happen folks. That would be like posting a video of me running the other day. I am sure you could read all over my face that I was trying not to poo.

  • And with that I will wrap up my TVT. Have a great Thursday everyone. Hope we can all avoid taking balls to the face today, dodgeballs or otherwise. BAhaahaa!


  1. Avoiding balls to the face...a good rule of thumb no matter what day of the week!

    Good luck tonight. If all else fails, fall to the ground clutching your lady parts while screeching in pain, I suspect they'll leave you be.

  2. Too late. *cough* *laugh*

    Dude, 6:30 is freakin' ridiculous! I'd be one of those people rolling in at 9 if I could. :)

    People are IDIOTS when the first snow comes - I've totally been avoiding driving for the past two days to let things settle down a bit (read: let all the idiots crash their cars and end up in ditches so the roads are safe again).

  3. People drive like that here too. I just have to remember to keep my hands at 4 and 6 this year. So when I run I pretty much pee my pants the whole time but the poo experience is definitely more fun to read about. :)

  4. Yuck! At work by 6:30? That sounds like it should be against the law.

    People drive awful here in any kind of weather. Seriously, I think that MD and DC were rated the top two worst states for driving (well DC isn't a state but get my meaning.) If there is a drip of rain, a flake of snow, or the sun is too bright...people just totally freak the eff out and forget how to drive. It is infuriating! Anyway...have fun at dodge ball tonight!

  5. Oh hell! I CANNOT believe I am about to admit this, but I was out running once when I had an ACTUAL am-I-going-to-shit-my-pants emergency.

    It did not end well.

    Glad you managed to make it home! ;)

  6. Hey, at least you got out for a run. That's the important thing!

    LOL, I measure different routes too. I can't stand wasting time, so I measure both distance and time...taking into account time spent at lights. I'm obsessed and even have a notepad in my glove compartment to store all this data. No wasted minutes in my car!

    Hope dodgeball went better tonight. You're hard-core.

    Miss you lots xo