Saturday, December 4, 2010

Picking Your Battles

Damn you Josey and your beautiful snowy ski video post and then dang you Office Christmas Party 2010 slideshow for asking us to upload images of things we did this year. Because I swear between the two of you, you're killin' me. The office mass e-mail went out for us to submit pictures for the slideshow, so I found these beauties from last winter. 

Don't laugh at my old f-ing giant orange goggles. I have had these since I was 7 or so. They are retro.

Muahhhaaahhaaahaaa First Tracks, It's mine, it's all mine!

What? My own secluded section of the mountain. No arguments here.

And then I found these:
This was the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls bout

 Wow bangs you are totally messed up right here. But look at my dopey face as I watch the bout.
The second girl from the left's nickname was "Steamboat" and she was.

It was right after this that I started practicing with a group of other women to try-out for Derby. So, it wasn't until I started looking through the pictures from this past year, and then watching the video on Josey's blog, that I started realizing that I might have a couple slight regrets right now, that is besides giving up all my drinkin' and whorin'.
I didn't necessarily have to give up skiing this year, my midwife was on board to let me try a day and see how I felt. She did however say ramming into people at Derby was out of the question. I can't possibly see how that is dangerous. We wear knee pads and wrist guards for heaven's sake. Okay okay, I agreed to hang up the skates. The skiing thing was my call really and so today I found myself reminding myself (I am totally leaving that "allow myself to introduce myself" baaahhhhahaha) why I made that decision.
It's not that skiing while pregnant (at least for someone who has been skiing since they were 5) is a horrible idea. It is the fact that as of two years ago, this is me:

Pshaaa right, okay that isn't really me, but that is what I would look like if I was totally awesome. My dad has been telemarking for like a million and fifteen years (minus a million) and when I moved back to Colorado I was ready for a new challenge. Regular downhill is pretty awesome, but after 22 years of it, I was ready for something new, plus my dad gave me my mom's skiis. I am kind of a frugal chick, so why would I spend my own money on brand new downhill stuff when I could just learn a new skill? Turns out telemarking is freaking amazing. Granted it took me two seasons to really grasp what it is meant to feel like, but the trip from the above pictures was when I truely fell in love with this new technique.
I per-ordered my ski pass in April or May, and when the BFP showed up in June, I spent several months weighing my options. I could rent downhill skiis for the season and keep it safe, I could give telemarking a go and just see if I was still balanced enough to not spend the entire time falling down, or I could hang it up for a season and be careful. Let me tell you, I am a stubborn pregnant lady. I have been really resistant to take on the "oh I have to give everything up" mentality. You will still find me sprinting to catch the train, standing up on the bus instead of letting a nice gentleman give me his seat (although I do thank them profusely for offering because I adore a gentleman), and, although I have only done it twice, eating sushi. I walk on the edge people, I am a rebel and shit.
But, I also have a very clear goal, to deliver this baby safely at home. Let me tell you there are a bazillion reasons that my dreams for a home birth might not work out. There is preeclampsia, and the baby being breach, gestational diabetes, yada yada yada. Most of the reasons are things I can't really control. I am trying to do my best, eat lots of protein (which is hard for someone who is doing good to get one meat product in a day), drink lots of water, walk a lot rest with my feet in the air, that kind of shit. In the end, I can only do so much. But not skiing was something I could control. I am not saying that I for sure would be compromising my home birth if I went skiing, but there was a fear that I would go into a deep turn, lose my balance, fall on my side and do some real damage, not just to me, but to this little fella in my belly. So as stubborn as I am about being the "pregnant girl who can" (Rosie the Riveter is in my head now) I feel like I should be kind of smart too. And I have to admit, I feel responsible to my bloggy pals.
I don't want you to think for a second that I don't think about my ladies in arms that are still out there fighting the infertility gods for their chance to give up skiing and roller derby (hypothetically speaking). I am still here cheering for you guys as loudly as I can and I rejoice and take great sorrow in each of your successes and failures. How much of an asshole would I be if I stubbornly decided to go skiing and put this gift I have been given in jeapardy? The biggest of assholes, that's what.
So I cancelled the pass, forfeiting $50, but I'll live. And despite having the urge every weekend to break out the roller skates, I am being patient. As much as I like to deny it, I have to be a grown up and take responsibility for this little life. But don't think I haven't spent the last few weeks, while watching the ski reports and hearing about my dad and brother heading up to the mountains, day dreaming about my come-back next year. And look what I found while googling "skiing with a baby". Bahhhaahahahaa.

Don't panic, Nugget probably won't be heading to the slopes with me until he gets to be around 5, but this picture does make me laugh.


  1. Ok my eyes just about bugged out of my head, I thought these were current pictures of you skiing! lol

  2. Is it OK if I'm (not so secretly) glad you made this decision?!? I would have been so worried FOR you if you were skiing! Ha! Take care of you friend... and that perfect life inside of you too.

  3. I hear you on giving things up. At our very first appointment the doctor said you can do everything you did before - except any contact sports. Oh and waterskiing. Waterskiing is about the only thing I do activity-wise (yep, lazy bones McGee here!) I was so sad and then realized that one season on the sidelines is a small price to pay for a healthy wee one. Glad you decided the same!

  4. Oh and I gave up drinking which, let's be honest, was way harder than water-skiing. Oh beer, how I miss thee.

  5. Thanks for the comment on Joseys blog about my video. Very sweet. :)

  6. Love the pictures - so awesome. I'm a total beginner when it comes to skiing, DH is still teaching me. I've got it down except when it comes to getting back up after I fall - I still suck at that. I am passing on the skiing this season, I'm not good enough to trust myself to not hurt the baby.

    I can't wait to get back out there next season though and master the art of standing up on skis. This year I'll be in the lodge watching family & friends ski while I sip on hot cocoa and read a book!

  7. UGH - why is my reader not showing me when you have new posts up?! Figuring that out today.

    My best friend from around here snowboarded all last winter while pregnant (by the end of season she was 5 months pregnant - she was a homebirther too)... the only time I had issues with it was when she'd rip on the moguls. That scared me to watch. Honestly though, at this point, the MOST I'd be pregnant by end of season is 4 months, and I'd be taking it super easy (no moguls - no blacks!). That being said, I'm calling bull shit that I'll ever even get to make that choice. Damnit.

    Roller derby looks like fun!