Tuesday, October 5, 2010

18 Weeks ....celebrated with nausea

Andy and I celebrated our 18 week milestone with some sort of 24 hour stomach flu or something similar. It may have been our visit to Katie's house on Saturday for our first Hypnobirthing class. Her littlest cutie, Charlotte, wasn't feel all that well and then Monday Katie's Facebook status was updated that her eldest was up at 3am vomiting as well. My visits with Katie always seem to coincide with someone being sick. I'd say the Universe might be trying to tell us something about our friendship, but I would just tell the Universe to suck it. Anyhoodles it was a good reminder of what weeks 5 1/2 through 12 were like and let me just say, it is amazing how quickly you forget how miserable morning sickness was as soon as you get through it. I can remember being so sick that I thought 'wow, I am never getting pregnant again, this was the dumbest idea in the world.' Then you hit week 12 and you're all happy and pregnant and you have nausea amnesia. So despite being completely sick and miserable yesterday it was a nice little reminder at how thankful I am to be past the morning sickness phase.

I went to work yesterday, although I felt pretty guilty about potentially passing this onto my co-workers. But here's the deal: I have to save as much of my sick time and vacation as possible so I can take more time off with Nugget. I still haven't completely navigated this Short-Term Disability business. The HR lady make it sound like it is unlimited and I could use it for the full 12 weeks of FMLA. But word on the street, and by street I mean cubicle, is that it all depends on how your Dr. fills out the paperwork. My inside source said that she got 4 weeks, but she's heard of a few people getting 6. Not to get all crazy on the benefits crapola, but basically STD doesn't kick in until 2 weeks after you are out of work. So the first two weeks comes out of my sick bank (unused sick leave) and then STD kicks in, which covers 60% of my pay. Then I can supplement the remaining 40% with remaining sick bank/personal leave/vacation time. Basically I have run the numbers, like you're surprised, if I can get 6 weeks of STD in addition to my 2 weeks of pre-STD time......

....did everyone else just realize I am abbreviating Short-Term Disability with the same acronym as Sexually Transmitted Disease?....awesome....I am so mentally stunted sometimes.....then that would give me 8 weeks of fully paid time with Nugget instead of just 6. And I think I would have 3 weeks of additional vacation/sick leave if I just couldn't stand the thought of going back right away. But I am thinking I should save at least some of that time so that I can take off when Nugget is sick or I am sick or I need a Nugget day. hahahah a Nugget day. Makes me want chicken nuggets.

Whoops, I said I wasn't going to go into the benefits thing and I did. Oh well. I just really wish there was a standard policy that said, you get 6 weeks of fully paid maternity leave and you can take another 6 weeks unpaid or supplement it with your sick/vacation time. That would be so much easier than trying to guestimate what you are going to get. Part of me just wants to say fuck it. Take the whole 12 weeks and just scrape buy for a few months.

Of course the other side of that coin is the work we have going on. One project will be under construction and without nugget I would be out there once a month for site visits/meetings. Then of course there is the issue that my boss would be almost completely incapacitated without me. We went to lunch today and I brought up the whole fact that putting a 6 week old in Daycare just seems so young and he was like 'does this mean you are going to be out for 6 weeks...is that what you are telling me?'. I told him I can take up to 12 and he was like 'well if I get you a laptop you can be out for a year'. Um deal! hahaha. I am pretty certain he isn't serious on that one. As much as I wish he was.

He's also said before that I could keep nugget in my bottom filing drawer....which really people would that be so bad? Like child services wouldn't pick me up for that would they? I joked with him that if I have one of those wrappy/slingy things then no one would even notice. I would basically look the same as when I was pregnant and Nugget would just be attached to me all day every day.

I mean migrant workers do that shit. They just strap their babies to their backs and work in the fields for 12 hours. Why couldn't I strap Nugget to my front and sit at a desk for 9? Seems reasonable to me. He/she would be in a comfortable environment, my boob is right there if they get hungry, plus I would be used to working around something large out in front of me already.

Anyway, needless to say, I am getting to the mini-freak out stage of pregnancy. There is still a lot to figure out. I was reading Oak's post about preparations for her baby and when she said that they were already on the waiting list for a daycare I realized that is something I should probably get moving on. There is so much to decide when it comes to this. Where should the baby be, close to home, closer to my work, near Andy's school? What seems the most cost-effective would be to have the daycare near Andy's school, so he would just drop Nugget off before class and pick him/her up right afterward. But then you think, if there is a problem, Andy will be unavailable and I will be over an hour away.

Plus it is possible that it might be cheaper to pay for a whole day at a daycare near our house then it would for a 1/2 day at a daycare in Boulder. Boulder folks are rich. So I would think daycares there are more expensive then in our lower middle-class neighborhood. Basically I need to get busy with the research and then we should probably visit all these places and figure out what we like/dislike. But in the end it is all dependent on Andy's school schedule which we won't know for a few more months. So then I wonder, is this all really premature? Ugh! Worries worries. I am just saying, keeping Nugget in my desk drawer just really seems like the best solution overall.

I know I promised you all pictures....and I will get to those as soon as I can. I will be sure to take a new one too, so you can see if there is a difference between 17 weeks and 18 weeks. Katie said she could tell. But I think anyone on the street would just think I like beer....which I do. We were at the store on Sunday and I walked by the limes and fresh mint and I turned to Andy laughing 'I almost suggested we get stuff to make Mojitos'. Child services will be picking nugget up for something, it is just yet to be determined for what.


  1. I have seriously ALWAYS wondered how the short term disability thing works out with maternity leave. I think it's way worse in Alaska, if that makes you feel any better at all?!? ;)

  2. Ugggg! Yeah, I just looked it up:


    * Pays $210 per calendar week of disability minus other disability and retirement benefits.

    * Benefits begin on the 31st day of your absence due to total disability or when all accrued paid leave has been exhausted, whichever is later.

    * Benefits are reduced by other income.

    Not even worth it in Alaska!

  3. Omg, I'm starting to panic about maternity leave. Emailing HR right now!!

  4. First and foremost....hope you're feeling better. Second, when it comes to daycare you will find that location is the last thing you will have to worry about. Once you start meeting some of the skeevy creepers that are ALLOWED to watch your baby, you'll drive to the other county just to find the right person. It's the WORST part about having kids (I think).

    I finally got W in with a REALLY good person, she's out of my budget, 20 minutes out of my way, and I have to keep a super strict schedule but it's totally worth it to know he's happy, safe, and having fun!

    Good luck Mama!

  5. Also, I put diaper boxes full of beer bottles out for recycling...it's only a matter of time before CPS shows up with some "questions"

  6. I'd definitely say you should at least check out daycares in all three areas and ask about their wait times. Laws are strict in CO about how many infants a day care can have, so yes, there are often waiting lists.

    I was snickering at the STD thing the whole way through this post. :)

  7. Wow, I feel like such a jerk sharing the tummy bug with you guys. Andy will never want to come back after experiencing my 2 year old and "the ick" from my house. My Sis was a daycare provider (and a darn good one) for many years, so if you want info from the "insider" side of things feel free to ask. I agree with the above opinions...but you're a smart Mommy, I'm sure you'll settly for nothing but the best possible. Talk to you soon (if you even want to think about seeing me again...so sorry) :(