Friday, June 18, 2010

I blame Gucci Mama and here's why

That's right Gucci Mama, this post is just for you! Don't give me those doe eyes.... this is definitely your fault. Despite my love for you, I may never be able to forgive you for this one. What happened? Although I am sure you know exactly what you did, I guess I will tell you. I had to use a public restroom! Not just any public restroom either. I only wish I had been in a Nordstrom, with their welcoming sitting room in the front to ease you into the process. Or even a semi-sketchy restroom like at the "The Cheesecake Factory". If only I had been that lucky. Ney, I had to scrape the bottom of the public restroom barrel. Prison inmates who have a toilet/washing machine would faint at the thought of using the bathrooms that I had to use. I am surprised the toilet flushed at all because of the 4" high toilet paper barrier I constructed for myself before finally giving in to my bursting bladder. So where was I do you ask? Where could there possibly be such vile and revolting bathrooms? I had to use the bathroom at the bus station! The BUS STATION Gucci Mama! I scrubbed my entire body with Borax and a Brillo pad just to feel right with the world again. How could you do this to me? Oh the horror. Wait....what do you mean you don't understand how this is your fault? could you not see it?....okay well I will show you the bunny trail that is my mental connections then. Remember this post? Yeah the one where you talk about your crazy eating and exercising regime....yep that's the one that did it. See the middle there where you list all the things you are doing to yourself? The third thing you say is that you are "Drinking at least a gallon of water every day. At least.". When I read those word I thought to myself I really need to drink more water! I would be so much healthier if I just really started pushing water through my system. And as you can see, herein lies our problem G.M. Because of your "innocent" statement of saying how you are drinking more water, I instantly felt like I should better myself by your example. And where did it get me? A BUS STATION BATHROOM! Oh the humanity!

hehehe. Okay I still love you and I know it isn't your fault! Kisses.


  1. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time. I feel like I need to bathe now, though, after just READING about the bus station ladies room.


  2. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA you poor thing!I think you need a hug.. a CLEAN hug!

  3. You poor thing. I hope you make Gucci Mama pay dearly for this. I can help if you like ;)

  4. LOL, I don't get skeeved out by many bathrooms, but I'm sure a bus station bathroom was less than pleasant :) Funny shit Natalie...