Monday, April 12, 2010

Hmm do I bruise easily?

For those of you all up on the acupuncture thing (I am usually the last one on the boat), you probably remember when you first sat down with your acupuncturist and went over the list of things like: do you crave sweets?, do you snore?, what color is your poo?, etc. Well we went over the list and then ranked them 1-5: 5 being extreme/significant issue and 1 being a mild issue. Well one of the questions was "do you bruise easily?". I marked a 1 on this because I do tend to bruise pretty often, but in my opinion (which I voiced to the acupuncturist) it is because I am super white, like see through almost. You know those anatomical statues that are clear and you can see all their organs and such....yeah that is basically me. So don't ask me why the nurse at the gyno can't draw my blood because you can practically see all my veins. But that is a separate issue.
Anyhoo, so I went through my first treatment and honestly it was kind of cool. I definitely had visions of Hellraiser going through my head, but it didn't freak me out, it just made me want to find a group of elementary school kids and chase them around making zombie noises. Not that I would do that....ahem. The only ones that I sort of had second thoughts about was after all the ones in my body and face were in. Then she was like 'okay I am going to put a few in your ear'. um what? my ear?....I am pretty sure my ears are not linked to my ovaries in anyway.....I mean I am not a doctor, but....what evolution-causing genius decided to link your ears to your ovaries. That is dumb. Obviously I didn't say this, I thought about it and about arguing, but I was keeping an open mind. She said that ear acupuncture is more painful than elsewhere due to lack of padding..dude she is commenting on my fat....oh wait no she isn't. So I just took a deep breath and braced myself for this ear pain. I was really surprised that ear acupuncture is barely noticeable just like the rest of it. I guess I should have remembered that I let some leather jacket wearing, Harley riding, tattoo artist shove a needle through my tongue once when I was a rebellious 18 year-old and that wasn't too bad, except for the drool......yes I waited until I was of legal age to be rebellious....shut up all you brave kids who did it earlier. I also never got really drunk until after I turned 21. Like you're surprised.
Anyhoo, I laid there calmly trying to figure out what meditation really means....it just means you're supposed to lay there calmly and quietly, right? Well that is what I did and I tried to think happy healthy body thoughts. It was weird though. My arms and legs got all heavy and my ears were hot. I had some tingliness in my finger tips. It was pretty cool. So I wrapped up my first treatment thinking 'this is no bigs I am ready to sign on and see if this really will work". I made my next appointment and scurried on home.
Well the reason I am now rethinking my "1" designation for bruising is because....I have bruises from where the needles were. Um is that normal or do I really bruise too freakin' easy? I also think it is just me because I went skiing yesterday and fell, nothing out of the ordinary there. But by the time I got home and jumped in the shower, Andy pointed out my huge bruise on my hip. It had been less than 3 hours since I fell! And it is the size of a small plate....like those ones you get at Olive Garden to set your bread on....mmmmm bread...seriously why do they even give you these plates? Does anyone actually set down their bread? I just pull it out of the basket and deposit it in my mouth. If it was the size of a baguette I could see needing to put it down for a short spell...maybe to take a drink, but seriously it is only like what 8 inches or something. Easy peasy. (Whoa! I didn't mean that to get racey, but it seriously feels like that's where it went.)
Anyway, so I have deduced that due to the fact that I have bruises where the microscopic needles were sitting and my skiing bruise was already heinous mere hours after I fell, that I should upgrade that bruising rating from a "1" to like a "3".

2 comments:

  1. OK, I want to punch you! I have a seriously high pain tolerance, but my ears throb my entire session. It's fine and I can totally handle it, but they definitely hurt worse than anywhere else the needles go.

    And now I feel like a wuss!

    I can't attest to normal, but I do have a gnarly bruise on my stomach after my last session. Sometimes I bruise from it and sometimes I don't. It is kind of crazy to bruise at all if you really think about it though - they aren't even going in far enough to draw blood!

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