I feel like puff painting myself a t-shirt this weekend that says "A Watched Pot Never Boils". OMG remember puff paints? They still make that shit. I am not sure if anyone buys it anymore, for all I know the paint on the store shelves could be left over from my elementary school days when I distinctly remember ironing a bear onto a sweatshirt and adding puff paint for more "flare". Man was I stylish! I just can't understand why I didn't have my first boyfriend until the age of 15....nope the reason is still not coming to me.
I received 15 e-mails today and although some were junk mail, more than half were people checking up on me. E-mails combined with people at work asking "how are you?" with a little more emphasis than normal, and text messages and phone calls, I am starting to feel like a little pot. Okay technically a big pot. I could hold a whole lot of chili.....wait why does that gross me the f out?
Andy's step-mom is the worst. As you know....or as you would know if you talked to her because she mentions it every... single.... time...her daughter went into labor 3 weeks early (just a couple days past 37 weeks). So despite the fact that I have told her how great I am feeling and that there are no signs that things are getting close and that I am thinking I will most likely be late, she says 'you never know, look at Brittany, almost a whole month early! You could have a baby by next weekend'. I am like 'seriously?'. I get it, everyone is anxious.....or it seems everyone but me is anxious. It isn't that I am unanxious? Is that a word? Going to check this one out. Hey whatdoyaknow, it is a word. Score one for Natalie. So yes, it isn't that I am unanxious, I just figured it would be a while still. I don't want to sit here and concentrate on every teeny tiny second of the next 3-5 weeks because it will definitely make me batty.
Let's look at the facts that lead me to believe it will be a while yet. Fact one: several days before Brittany went into labor she started leaking from the boobies. Natalie's boobs: normal. OMG but they are huge, did I tell you that when I went to get fitted for nursing bras they put me in a 40E.....an E! Crazy! Before this pregnancy I was wearing a 36C if that gives you any perspective of where these monsters are headed. Apparently they are headed to infinity and beyond. Anyway, so no boob leakage.
Fact two: no increased downstairs fluids. From what I have read and heard that can be a sign that your cervix is preparing itself. Fact three: Brittany and pretty much everyone else I have talked to who was nearing the "end" was miserable. Couldn't breath, couldn't sleep, couldn't walk, couldn't poo. All that fun stuff. I am still feeling really good. My only real complaint is heartburn. And let me tell you, if that old wives tale about heartburn meaning your baby will be born with hair is true, Nugget is going to look like a monkey. A long-haired monkey. But I have been told by more than one person who had a bald baby and tons of heartburn that there is no correlation. Whew! I definitely can't bring myself to explain why I gave birth to a chimp.
Point is, I am still sleeping pretty well. It is definitely harder to physically get out of bed to go to the bathroom and sometimes I find my brain working on overdrive when I settle back in to go to sleep. But that is mostly because I sit there wondering what Nugget is going to look like....whether he'll have excessive hair, just kidding! Whether he is going to get up at 2:30am every morning because that is usually the time I wake up to go pee. That kind of stuff. So it is brain induced sleep issues. Breathing, walking and pooing are all going well. For those of you having issues with the latter, let me tell you a secret: Blue Bonnet liquid Cal/Mag. The blueberry flavor is all I have tried, but there are other options too. It is kind of amazing. My midwife had me start taking it in addition to my prenatals just as a blood pressure preventative thing and man does that stuff have other benefits. One of which has to do with your number two pipes and the other, it actually does help with heartburn....most of the time. Sometimes that heartburn is determined to be an a-hole and no amount of tums or cal/mag can make a difference.
Fact four: no contractions. When I walk around, which I try to do a lot of, I can feel everything tightening, but sort of like you are doing a crunch. It isn't painful and I barely notice it is happening. I keep looking out for signs of "period-like cramping" and more noticeable warm-up contractions, but so far nothing noticeable.
Basically, I think we're a long way away. I mean we are at most 6 weeks away, if he's not out by then, I am pretty sure they will force him out, but I definitely think I am going to go well into March. Which is actually totally fine with me. Like I said I am still comfortable and happy. But I realize people are still going to be keeping a close eye on me....watching my every move. Asking how I am with added concern. My mischievious side wants to play some pranks, but then I remember that whole 'boy who cried wolf' thing and put the kibosh on that idea.