Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Penis Question

Damn it! I have decided that when it comes to making this decision, I would just rather only have little girls and bypass the whole thing. I'm talking about circumcision. I had my 20 week appointment with my midwife last Friday. Andy was at home waiting for the repairman to fix our dryer, so it was just me this time, which was more than okay. We usually spend a lot of time talking about poop and other fun bodily functions, so it was probably cool for him to sit out for one of those sessions. Anyway, it had occurred to me that now we were dealing with a penis and a homebirth a few things might need to be coordinated. I had told Andy way back when we started trying that if we had a boy, I would leave the circumcision decision (hehehe rhyming) up to him. I kind of felt unqualified to make that call. He seemed pretty decided that he was for circumcising our boy, so I left it at that.
So during our appointment I asked the midwife how that would work since we're planning to birth at home. It's easy peasy at the hospital, they just do it right after he pops out. Obviously she doesn't do circumcisions, but I have heard you want it done pretty early on. I asked her if we would take him to a dr. office the next day or something. She started by saying 'well, first, I wouldn't recommend circumcising him'. She told me that the medical profession doesn't recommend circumcision and that the times have changed so the cases of kids being made fun of in gym class and such is minimal. So she told me all the reasons there are not to circumcise, but then she told me how we could go about it, if we decide that is what we want. I left in a state of contemplation and indecision. One thing she had said was 'you could always wait and let him decide later on if that is something he wants to do'. That made a whole lot of sense to me. My parent's were awesome enough to give me that right when it came to religion. They decided not to baptize me and instead let me choose if I wanted it later, which I didn't. I know I am a heathen, but it makes me happy that they left the option up to me. So I started thinking maybe it should be that way with Nugget's junk. Maybe he should be the one to decide whether he wants a turtleneck or not. 
Of course if we wait until he is old enough to decide, then we are talking about a scheduled surgery. I doubt insurance covers putting your teenager under the knife for a circumcision. Then what? He is out of school for a few weeks and tells his buddies he is going in to get chopped? Maybe I am oversensitive to this subject? Maybe I should just stick with my original decision to let Andy be the one in charge of it. But does anyone else feel a little guilty about delivering your beautiful little boy and then handing them over to someone to cut them?  


  1. I had my son circumcised the day he was born. I don't have any feelings of guilt or anything else over it. It's a quick, easy procedure. He had some neosporin and gauze for a few days and that was it. Now I don't have to worry about infections, retracting the foreskin (you have NO IDEA how difficult it was for me to type those words), and that kind of thing.

    There's a whole camp that says "let the boy decide", but my thoughts are that it's up to us to make decisions for our kids when they're too young to make them for themselves. And I'm not sure a 13 year old is much more capable than an infant when it comes to making medical decisions, quite frankly.

    Plus, if you have it done when he's an infant, it's not traumatic. He won't remember it, obviously. Yes, there's the "looking like dad" and "not being made fun of in the locker room" thing, but that was pretty minimal for me. For me it was more about the health/cleanliness/care aspect of it.

    I say research it a little more and decide what works best for your little man, but whatever you decide, don't feel guilty about it and don't allow anyone to pressure you into feeling guilt.

    Good luck. Boys are a whole different animal! ;)

  2. Found this - hope it helps a little.

  3. I don't want to sway you one way or another, but your midwife's comment about health professionals not recommending circumcision is NOT the case in the hospital where I work.

    Obviously, we cannot persuade a patient (or his parents, in this case) one way or another, but the majority of male babies are circumcised, usually the day after birth. In fact, I have yet to see a boy baby go home that wasn't... As a nursing student, I witnessed and assisted with several, and the babies didn't cry at all... I'll also add that recently we've had more than one elderly patient coming in ASKING for a circumcision because his parents didn't make that decision early in life and they've now suffered more than their fair share of UTIs....which let me just say are NO laughing matter!

    Anyway, if this baby is a boy, Hubs and I will be getting him circumcised... But that is us...

  4. I can give you some more info too, I'll be honest, it was a decision I was glad to avoid. We'll chat more and like I said I have some info so you can weigh the options. Ahh, the joys of decision making as a parent :)

  5. It's SUCH a personal decision, and I think you'll get different answers from every medical professional you speak to. In all honesty, I've been thinking about this for months. Ever since I wrote a totally full on ridiculous post about circumcision and got bombarded by crazies with google alerts set to the term!

    I seriously don't know what I'll do if I have a boy, but I almost think I'm leaning more towards not circumcising.

    That said, my little brother was one of those kids who wasn't circumcised as an infant and went on to have problems later in life - at which point he was circumcised as a child who was fully aware of what was going. Let me tell you, you have never seen a little boy in more pain or more traumatized as he was the days following his surgery when he just laid around the house with nothing but a light sheet over him.

    I think both he and my dad would kill me if I didn't circumcise my son after that situation!

  6. I felt the same way - DH should make that choice since he's a guy and "knows" about those sort of things. He said we will circumcise our son if we have one and that's what we'll do. I've heard of boys wishing they were, never heard of one wishing they weren't. But I'm sure they're out there.