So what am I going to do about it? How am I going to make all this happen for myself? Well first off, I had to give myself some more slack. At first my plan was to go go go. Undergrad, Masters, LEED, License, etc. But I have learned (the hard way) that when you spend so much time looking towards that next goal you miss out on life. So at first my next step was to start looking immediately for opportunities. As soon as I find what I really want to do, make the leap. But that's not too smart (and in this recession it isn't a reality anyway). Andy has two and a half years of undergrad left and then law school. So we're looking at another five and a half years of him being in school. In reality, I can't make a change before then. Unless there is a job that pays exactly the same or more obviously. But believe me, that isn't a reality. I decided the best way to fulfill my historic preservation needs was by getting involved in a volunteer capacity (did milk just shoot out of your nose when you hear about me taking on more activities in addition to being newly pregnant and about to enter my "unconscious" stage of pregnancy? If so, why the heck are you drinking milk and reading my blog? Grab a beer and/or glass of wine for Pete's sake. Think of Pete people!). I sent out messages to all the local and government agencies and Historic Colorado called me back! I have only had a couple of meetings with the historian I will be working with, but already there is a sense that I am moving towards that end goal, even if it is at a snale's pace. In the meantime, I am trying not to let the feeling of guilt get to me. I do have an extreme respect for women who are able to stay home with their children and although I always said I would go insane if I had to stay home, now that nugget is a reality, I am starting to wish that were an option. Balance in this respect is going to be ridiculously hard. Especially considering I have already started randomly tipping over for no good reason. I have always been a family first kind of girl, but I was also raised by an ridiculously strong and independent mother, who taught me it was okay to go for it all. Shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. (is anyone else thinking way too hard about this quote? I am sitting here thinking 'isn't it more likely if you miss the moon you're freakin' screwed?' nevermind just gobble up the inspirational message). Anyway the point of all this dribble is that I am going to try to do it all. At least for now. At least until I fall flat on my big ass in a few years. Then I will have to get out my industrial size eraser and start reworking the master plan.
So for all you mother's out there what is important to you? And how do you keep that in your sights in addition to being a great mom? For those out-to-get-preggo ladies: is there anything you are afraid of losing when you become a mom? (you know besides your mind.....sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I am quickly realizing that there is no stopping this one).