Tuesday, March 30, 2010

I Will Follow You Into The Dark

I was going to write about the ridiculous novel e-mail I received back from E.T., but I just find myself so uninterested in dealing with that, especially with all the recent happiness and the fact that I am still rejuvenated from our vacation. Then I was reading a sweet post from my bestie Katie (here). In it she touched on the fun times that were trying to pin down Andy and my wedding and then she said one of the sweetest things. She wrote:
"I have since gotten to know this so-called "fiance", now husband of hers and I can see that he was well worth the effort of the wedding."
Awww that is so sweet. I mean obviously he was well worth the effort to me and I have an idea of what my friends think of Andy and I would say most everyone seems to like him. But there was just something about this statement that made me so happy. He really is one of the most wonderful people I know and I feel fortunate every day that he is in my life. Keep in mind that very few of my current friends had ever met Andy before our wedding. Obviously our mutual high school friends knew he existed. But to my college friends, I was basically either telling the truth or a complete crazy girl who bought herself a ring and downloaded pictures of some guy in a Marine uniform. That was all I had to show for my fiance and imagine how it supported my "I'm not crazy" case when his deployment was extended when we officially invaded Iraq in 2002 and our January wedding was postponed. I am sure in their minds...despite how loving and supportive they were of me, there had to be that thought "What if she has made this up?.....She could be insane....She does seem a little too happy all the time". I know I would think that. I mean seriously it just fits all too well into a crazy person scenario. Anyway obviously he is a real person and they know that now.
Andy has been at the top of my mind the past few days. And there is nothing like 30 some hours in the car during vacation to reaffirm your feelings of love, adoration and astonishment for the person you're married too. We talked about just about everything on this trip, okay well I can think of quite a few topics we didn't touch on, but you get the idea. On our way back we were both feeling pretty tired and I knew if I didn't start talking I was going to fall asleep and abandon him to keep himself awake. So I started asking him about the Marines. As I have mentioned before, I am a timeline kinda girl. I loves me a timeline. Since we had just visited Eric and Stotts (FYI his name is Andrew, easy to remember right?, but for the darndest of me I still can't stop calling him Stotts) I was kind of curious how everyone fit into his "life story". I proceeded to annoy the crap out of my husband prattle off a zillion questions about "When did you first meet Eric?", "So you and Stotts were in the same team in Iraq?". I obviously already had significant pieces of the story, but he started filling everything in for me. And I questioned him down to the smallest minutiae. But it started to amaze me. I asked him about becoming a sniper and what about it appealed to him. What would he be doing if he had chosen to stay in? Etc.
Let me just tell you, this guy is amazing. I am not sure whose idea it was for me to fall in love with this man and choose to spend the rest of my life with him, but it was the best decision of my life. And I am always shocked when I realize that there is still so much to learn about this person even after ten years together. Obviously he is a very capable person and to some people this means he could be a scary individual. Yet there is this caring, protective layer and it just almost makes me breathless.....I just can't even describe it. The role he played during his time in Iraq is one of the most amazing stories I have ever heard. I have practically begged him time and again to write a book. I just think everyone should know what this handful of young men did. But he refuses to write about it. Maybe the wounds are too raw, but mostly it seems to be that it was a thankless job, he knew that when he went into it. He knew that he would never be recognized for the things that he did and that people's perception of what a sniper does is only about 1% of what they actually do. But that's the idea of them. No one is supposed to know what they do and that is what protects them. So I doubt he will ever tell their story. It doesn't matter how you feel about Iraq or what your political beliefs are. These guys are the most worthy Americans I know.
This might seem out of left field, but are you one of those people who has/or sees yourself having a "song" for you and your S.O? I know many of us do, whether it be the song you danced to at your wedding, or the song you remember hearing on your first date, etc. I am one of those girls. Eeek shhhh don't tell anyone okay? It just seems so girlie and I try so hard to limit my uber girlie traits. Can't fight this one though. In 2005 when I first heard the song "I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie, I knew it was the one. Atypical, I know. Most girls go for something more romantic and uplifting. This song is basically saying 'we're gonna die'. But to me this song is the epitome of my feelings towards Andy. It speaks volumes to say I would follow this person into the darkest blackest depths of the unknown so they wouldn't be alone when their life ends. I sleep soundly curled up next to this man, knowing that we could face anything together and I will never have to worry, he will be there.
When I first told him this was my idea of "our song", he definitely thought I was mentally challenged. Now when we listen to it, he will hold my hand as I slip into my cheesy girlie romantic bliss state of being. Okay seriously I know that he will never hear this song and be like 'oooo baby it's our song'. Yeah that would never happen. He thinks the idea of having "a song" is absolutely ridiculous! But the fact that he allows me to have an "our song" even though he doesn't subscribe to it, really does mean something to me. It is just proof that marriage is really about compromise. He sits with me when I'm listening to "our song" and I am pretty sure he tries to keep his eye rolls to a minimum and I sit through hours and hours of him talking about truck and gun components. Seriously he has to realize I still have no idea what he is talking about, right? Thank goodness for Eric and Stotts. Every guy needs guy friends to exude the correct level of excitement and interest about such topics. I never seem to get my "I have no idea what you're saying, but it sounds like you are excited about it" reactions right.

1 comment:

  1. You just seriously cracked me up! If I told my friends I had found some guy who made me insanely happy but who conveniently wasn't around - they would think I had made him up too.

    The difference is, I probably WOULD have made him up!