Tuesday, November 17, 2009

"Patience is the art of concealing your impatience"

I found this quote while I was browsing around and it just really epitomizes the essence of how I have been feeling lately....and when I say lately, I could possibly be talking about the last decade or so of my life. I have always been in somewhat of a hurry. I fully consider myself a late bloomer. I spent much of my early teen years still playing with dolls and making up imaginary worlds where I lived. I was always so content with the amount of time I spent being a child. I feel like I was fully fulfilled and ready to move on. It seems as soon as I hit 15 and a half I transitioned from a little girl to this whirlwind of an impatient person. Ready for the next thing....looking ahead...planning meticulously the next twenty steps I would be taking in life...excited and ready, but also with a lack of spontaneity at times. I guess there were traces of this person while I was the playful child. I knew I wanted to be an architect when I was 7 years old. But I began experimenting with it by designing 400 room hotels where I would live and throw incredible masquerade balls and all my friends would come and stay with me there.
I think I come off as an extremely patient person or at least I consider myself to be very patient. But behind the patience there does seem to be this frantic mouse running about constantly thinking about what is coming next. It is almost as though my brain is never truly quiet. I am sure most women can relate to this; we are the ultimate multi-taskers after all. But even when I try to tell myself to relax, be calm, truly be patient, it is like pulling back on a locomotive....there's no stopping it.
But there are always those things in life that no matter how best you lay your plans, you have absolutely no control over them and so you are forced to just wait it out.

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