tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1936100958748945142.post3406538876896390055..comments2012-01-27T19:20:58.824-07:00Comments on I was told there would be pajamas: Putting on our Big Girl PantsNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17901543622174716512noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1936100958748945142.post-64431873159256531762010-03-18T09:28:00.929-06:002010-03-18T09:28:00.929-06:00Hahaha! Katie, love the poison-slipping hug and th...Hahaha! Katie, love the poison-slipping hug and the "practical" advice. You are all so right. It is time to move past it all and it definitely causes me more pain then the two of them. So "breathing in the good air, breathing out the bad". I will go to this wedding and "support" my dad. <br />Steph, I am so glad, yet sorry at the same time, that we have so much in common. It would definitely hurt so much more to have her in my mother's house, but it looks like one way or the other you and I will get through this. I guess that is one sweet relief that my dad is moving in with her and he is thinking about renting my mom and his place. But I am definitely ready to go scavange the place to make sure certain things are not moved over there. Oh and I forgot to mention the other sweet relief to the whole situation is that the Evil Temptress is a big dummy. My mom was so smart and wonderful, so when E.T. (hahaha. That is what I will refer to her as from now on) says stupid stuff it makes me smirk and think "pssshaaw my mom was so much better than you". Thanks ladies for your wonderful words of wisdom and support. I definitely needed the perspective adjustment. And I promise to continue to eat guacamole as a breakfast food item.Nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17901543622174716512noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1936100958748945142.post-53382157725325165512010-03-17T18:49:16.976-06:002010-03-17T18:49:16.976-06:00Natalie, ((BIG HUG)) (and while I am hugging you I...Natalie, ((BIG HUG)) (and while I am hugging you I am slipping a small vial of poison to you behind your back, it is untraceable when used on Evil Temptresses, and can easily be utilized with what I call the "death stare", do with it what you will) K, but seriously, that is a "salt on the wound" issue that will probably always hurt some, and that is okay. I went to a retreat last year that was entirely about forgiveness, and much of what I learned there I think is very relevant. I think you are making the right choice by "putting your big girl panties on" for all of the reasons you mentioned. Also, on the forgiveness thing. Feelings like hurt and anger usually affect you more than the person you are feeling them towards. In the long run, these feelings take up valuable mental time and even cause higher levels of damaging chemicals in your body. So, what good are the feelings really doing for you? Forgiveness is simply a way of moving through these feelings, so they don't continue to affect you negatively. It does NOT mean you condone the behaviour, that you forget the offense, or that you will behave towards the offender as if it never happened. It is simply a way of clearing the toxicity of the situation out of your life. Therefore, I hope you will find some measure of foregiveness that will help you to navigate this situation in a way that is healthy for you. Not trying to sound preachy...therefore my first offer of the poison-slipping hug still stands.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12679373224277825474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1936100958748945142.post-55528251928386790152010-03-17T16:10:52.660-06:002010-03-17T16:10:52.660-06:00I think guac is a perfectly acceptable breakfast f...I think guac is a perfectly acceptable breakfast food. Things change when you move to CO. :)<br /><br />... and yeah, this is definitely a situation where you need to "be the bigger person" or whatever... shitty how your Dad met her, but it's good that he's not lonely anymore and has someone to grow old with.<br /><br />Sorry about your Mom. :(Joshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13423295019681051881noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1936100958748945142.post-41599730976323157422010-03-17T10:51:25.359-06:002010-03-17T10:51:25.359-06:00Oh, girl I totally understand where you are coming...Oh, girl I totally understand where you are coming from! You are handling the situation probably about the same as I would. My dad is about to ask his g/f to move in with him (the house we used to live in as a family) and it's eating at me a bit. And to top it off, the g/f's daughter is home on Spring Break this week and staying at the house - not sure why. All I can say is, she will never replace your mom. I hate seeing my dad lonely, so it helps me to think of him having company instead of him getting married again, or being in a relationship. But that doesn't make it any easier that my mom isn't here anymore, and we have to pick up the pieces and move on without her. <br /><br />By the way, your story is strangely similar to mine, and I love the part where she ended the email with "love." Did you feel the knife go in a little deeper??Stephaniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16875307109685150842noreply@blogger.com